Today's Pearl Of Wisdom:

“Family are like teeth, you’d always like to keep them because you have a long history with them, but you occasionally have to extract them when they cause you enough pain.”

The plight of my family toxicity is one that would occupy way too much space here, and my emotional attachment to it would not likely offer much objectivity about the dynamics of family systems, so I will attempt to keep it as devoid of emotion as possible. That said, I can’t tell you how many times people have shared their family woes to me and followed it up with, “but they’re my family so I suck it up”. (Long buzzer sound inserted here). It is not uncommon for people to tolerate from their family members things they would not tolerate from their friends, just because they are “family”. But what is family? As I understand it, it is a group of people who support you, who do not judge you but offer you love with no conditions. They ask as much about you as they talk about themselves. They may offer you feedback on an issue you’re having based on their experience, but they never impose their choices or value system upon you, and they certainly don’t ostracize you for making your own choices. They silently let you fly and discover those lessons on their own, keeping both pom poms at their sides to celebrate you at each new phase of enlightenment or accomplishment. Your memories together are long and some of them are even good (oops, that was an emotional slip…lol) Longevity with people is nice, since it connects you to a time of your life that starts to drift farther and farther away as we age. But ask yourself, what has been the quality of that time? Has it been more of a burden than a benefit to you? And do you want the next phase of your life to be more of the same based on some idea of obligation. I am here to say that you are obligated to your happiness and if the people who share your family are continually compromising that, than it’s time to create a new one. No one should be obligated to be submissive to abuse, no matter who they are. I am not suggesting this is easy, but visit Kansas and experience peace, laughter, acceptance, serenity, and joyful loving people and it will be that much harder to go back to Oz.

Thanks for reading,
Patrick